Ms. MedTechEma
I'm a third-year Medical Technology student of Far Eastern University, Manila, interested in any Medical stuffs.
Recent Tweets
@medtechema
Posts I Like
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It’s okay Sam Dong, I’ll take you ;w;
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I guess there are those who knew right from the start who they’re gonna end up with and that it was...
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Graduation tomorrow :D:
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Who I Follow
Posts tagged "reblog"
(via hana-jo)
- Cranquis: Well I agree, your stomach sure feels bloated and gassy.
- 40-something female patient: Yeah, ooh, ouch.
- Cranquis: Having the gas pain again?
- Patient: Yes, and I think I need to *farts loudly* OOPS! Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
- Cranquis: No big deal.
- Patient: I've just been so gassy and sometimes it *another loud fart* OOPS! just slips out, oh I'm so embarrassed.
- Cranquis: Hey, really, it's just fine. In fact, think of it this way: for once in your life, you are in a situation where it is socially permissible and encouraged to pass gas as much as possible.
- Patient: Really? Oh, that's so *long and strong, loud and proud, pants-ripping fart* wonderful. Tee hee!
- Nurse: Dr. Cranquis, come quick, this guy is choking!
- Cranquis: Sir, are you ok?
- 40-something male patient *sweating, red-faced, but conscious and sitting up; speaking in rough raspy voice*: I'VE GOT A CHICKEN BONE... IN MY THROAT...
- Cranquis *listening to lungs, palpating neck, looking in mouth*: How long has it been there?
- Patient: OW MY NECK HURTS... 45 MINUTES... IT WON'T MOVE...
- Cranquis: We're sending you to the ER right away. NURSE CALL AN AMBULANCE!
- Patient: DON'T WANT... AMBULANCE... DRIVE MYSELF...
- Cranquis: Oh I don't think so, sir, your BP is 210 over 106 and you're in distress, I want an ambulance to take you in case you pass out before you get there.
- Patient: I SAID I DON'T... *swallowing hard* OUCH! *voice suddenly sounds normal* I said I don't want an ambulance. Hey. Wait a second. The pain is gone! *test-swallows again, grins* I think it just passed down!
- Cranquis *surreptitiously wiping sweaty palms on scrub pants*: You are one lucky fellow, sir.
- Me: God, can I ask You a question?
- God: Sure
- Me: Promise You won't get mad
- ... ... ... ... ...
- God: I promise
- Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
- God: What do u mean?
- Me: Well, I woke up late
- God: Yes
- Me: My car took forever to start
- God: Okay
- Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
- God: Huummm
- Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
- God: All right
- Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?
- God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one
- of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that
- Me (humbled): OH
- GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
- Me: (ashamed)
- God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
- Me (embarrassed): Okay
- God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
- Me (softly): I see God
- God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
- Me: I'm Sorry God
- God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.
- Me: I will trust You.
- God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
- Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.
- God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...
- Cranquis: Mom, I'm going to do the influenza swab on little Perry now.
- Mom: Ok, sounds good.
- 5-year-old Perry *pointing at the nasopharyngeal-swab packet*: What is that thing?
- Cranquis *starting his usual patter to keep the kid calm until it's too late for the kid to resist*: It's a big Q-tip, and I'm going to steal some of your boogers with it!
- Perry *giggling*: Ok!
- 11-year-old big sister Lucretia: OH NO I HAD THAT DONE ONCE, AND IT MADE MY NOSE BLEED!
- Perry: *begins screaming and hides behind the exam table*
- Cranquis: Gee, thanks a lot, Lucretia. You should consider going into pediatrics.
- Cranquis: So the nurse said you are feeling really angry at your parents?
- 30-something female Army veteran with multiple psych issues: YES THEY MAKE ME SO MAD THAT MY HEAD WANTS TO IMPLODE. I COULD SHOOT MY DAD IN THE BRAINPAN AND I WOULDN'T EVEN CARE.
- Cranquis: Do you have any firearms available to you?
- Patient: NO BUT I'M ARMY TRAINED, I COULD KILL MY MOM WITH A PENCIL THROUGH THE EYE SOCKET. I'M A DANGEROUS BITCH.
- Cranquis: I think maybe you need to return to the psych hospital that you were in a couple weeks ago, don't you?
- Patient: OH YEAH, I NEED A VACATION FROM THIS CRAP. PLEASE CALL THE COPS TO COME GET ME.
- Cranquis: I'm on it!
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
One Republic - Good Life
Laughter is the best medicine
The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him?
Martin H. Fischer (via medicalstate)
HOW THE PATIENTS SEE US!
